the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
