her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
