I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
