where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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