These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
