how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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