Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
