you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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