Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Moan for me like Helen Keller
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
