Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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