I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
