I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
