So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
