we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
