their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
