Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
