so let's talk penis.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
