her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
