i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
