im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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