if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
