i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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