took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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