My sheets look like a crime scene.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Randomize
