I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
