Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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