I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
