Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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