P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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