they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Found the puke drawer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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