I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
