how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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