Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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