i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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