I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
