i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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