I hate all girls vehemently.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
