I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
