dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
