Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
