he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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