You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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