Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize