This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
