I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
