i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
