11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
