is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
