I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
This is the prime rib incident all over again
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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