Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
